I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
