Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
jump out the window naked night went bad
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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