Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
