You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
