I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
