So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
