what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
