remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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