and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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