You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
