I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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