shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
