Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
