He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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