i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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