i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
