I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
