i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
