therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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