I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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