She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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