"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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