is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She bit a glass in half.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
