I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
