Whod you bang
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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