we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
