Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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