You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
