i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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