let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
