u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
babies were throwing up all over the place
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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