Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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