so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
