Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wish you could order shots online.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
