this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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