i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
