We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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