Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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