one two three fourrrrnication!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
