Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
