i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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