I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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