So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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