New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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