He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
