my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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