So drunk its hurt
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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