Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just want to make out with him forever
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
