I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We left the knife in your bed.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
