just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
